The Best Things Said This Year, Oh, what a Year!

These are Shapiro's 10 most memorable quotes for 2007, in descending order:

10. "I think as far as the adverse impact on the nation around the world, this administration has been the worst in history." -Former President Jimmy Carter, referring to the Bush administration in an interview with the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette newspaper

9. "I mean, you got the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy. I mean, that's a storybook, man." -Sen. Joseph Biden, referring to rival Democratic presidential candidate Sen. Barack Obama

8. "(I have) a wide stance when going to the bathroom." -Idaho Republican Sen. Larry Craig, explaining why his foot touched the foot of an undercover police officer in an airport men's room

7. "I'm not going to get into a name-calling match with somebody who has a 9 percent approval rating." -Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, a Democrat, referring to Republican Vice President Dick Cheney

6. "There's only three things he (Republican presidential candidate and former New York City Mayor Rudolph Giuliani) mentions in a sentence: a noun and a verb and
9/11." Sen. Joseph Biden, speaking during a debate for Democratic presidential candidates

5. "I don't recall." -Former U.S. Attorney Alberto Gonzales' repeated response to questions from members of Congress about the firing of U.S. attorneys

4. "That's some nappy-headed hos there." -Radio personality Don Imus, referring to the Rutgers University women's basketball team

3. "In Iran we don't have homosexuals like in your country." -Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, during a speaking engagement at Columbia University in New York

2. "I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because some people out there in our nation don't have maps and I believe that our education like such as in South Africa and Iraq and everywhere like such as and I believe that they should our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S. or should help South Africa and should help Iraq and the Asian countries so we will be able to build up our future for us." -Lauren Upton, the South Carolina contestant in the Miss Teen America contest, when asked why one-fifth of Americans cannot find the U.S on a map

And, my personal favorite....

1. "Don't tase me, bro." -Andrew Meyer, a senior at the University of Florida, after being hauled away by campus police during a speech made by Sen. John Kerry

Have you ever seen someone get tased? I have, many times... it's not pretty. I watched our whole Sheriff's Dept. get tased... the guys did it so they could testify in court as to the actualy feelig/effects of being tased.

In case you haven't seen a true tase for yourself, here's an early Christmas present from me. Were the cops right or wrong? Well, to me that's not what's important here. What's important to me is that if I ever have a cop tell me I'm getting tased, you better belive I will stop resisting. There's nothing worse than a strong volt of electricity raging through your body and then risking peeing your pants in front of a room full of university students and a presidential candidate. Talk about a bad day!

May your New Year go out with a bang and not a sizzle!

Dirty Underwear

First, an update to my last post. Grant got a hat in the mail from the car dealership and I got NOTHING. Bah Humbug to them!

We have had an interesting time with our 10-year old. After doing five loads of her laundry on a weekly basis, I noticed that she was putting clean clothes in her hamper and that was why I felt like I was always washing her clothes. I am guessing she does this because she is too lazy to put them into a drawer. For example, she would change from her play clothes to a shirt, which she would wear to dinner and then put it in the hamper. I would tell her, "your shirt is not dirty, you can put it away and wear it again." But, she didn't listen and the shirt would end up in the hamper and in the washing machine, along with other clean clothes. Same thing with pajamas. Wear them once, they are in the hamper. She has four pairs of PJs, so after the fourth day I noticed she was wearing long t-shirts, which also ended up in the hamper. Now, I talked to her about this over and over again but since she isn't the one doing the laundry, she never changed.

Well, guess what? I got sick of it and refused to do her laundry anymore. I bought her a little detergent thing and told her and my husband that I am no longer washing her clothes. I taught her to use the washing machine and drier and then I sat back and waited.

Being bossy and controlling, I had a hard time not reminding her to do her laundry. I also had a hard time not reminding my husband to do her laundry. I just let it go... disengaged is the "formal" word for it.

Well, two weeks went by and it was time to get ready for a party. She had nothing to wear. Literally, no pants to wear. Grant and her were supposed to go riding the next day and she had no jeans and had not washed her jersey. Turns out, she was also out of clean underwear. Yuck!

Now, part of me felt guilty that the 10 year old was about to wear dirty underwear. But, on the other hand, I clearly explained to both her and her father that I was no longer washing her clothes. I explained the consequences of not washing her own clothes and made sure she understood them. At the end of the day, clean clothes is just not very important to her (is it to any 10 year old)?

This is not the '90s. Grunge is out. Cleanliness is in. In fact, it is next to godliness. Kids are sparkling clean now. I don't see stained shirts at school or dirty, unwashed hair. Clothes fit, unlike when I was a preteen and wore boy shorts to school that sagged down and showed my underwear.

I did my own laundry at 12 years old. My mom started doing hers at 7. On the other hand, Grant didn't do his until he moved out of him home (well, he was 14). And my father has never washed his own clothes. Is it asking too much for a 10 year old to keep herself clean and to launder her own clothing? Well, time will tell. Grant gave her a smaller laundry basket and told her, when this is full, you have to do your laundry. Apparently he isn't going to do it for her either. Let's just hope she figures it out before the next dirty underwear saga.

Women and cars

I bought a new car last month from Bob Baker Volkswagen in Carlsbad and it is supposed to be "certified." I have now brought it into the shop 7 times. The first time was because the guy who installed the alarm did a crappy job and the alarm light it kept blinking even while I was driving. Talk about distracting! So, I took it back, they couldn't fix it during that appointment time, so I had to make another.

In the meantime, my air conditioner started making this noise like when you computer is working really hard. The noise would stop and I would be like, "Oh, is the noise gone?" I'd sit in my car and try to listen for the noise. But the noise just kept coming back. I took it in once, they said they fixed it; the minute I got back into the car, the noise came back on. So, I had to take it back again for a new diagnosis. They told me they would have to take the entire dashboard apart and replace the fan motor. So, I made another appointment for this. In the meantime, my passenger seat heater went out, so I asked if they could: replace the fan motor, the alarm, and the seat heater at the same time. "Sure," they said. Well, they fixed the annoying noise, but nothing else. So, I made another appointment. At that appointment, they only fixed the seat, not the alarm. And, they didn't even put the seat back together. They left bolts and seat parts in the backseat! They are still back there! I don't even know what they are for. Hopefully whoever rides in my passenger seat doesn't end up attached to the seat flying out of the front window!

Now, I have been very nice and patient. I have talked to the service manager and complaigned in a professional manner. My husband, however, is sick of this. So, he called and complaigned in a not-so-nice manner. After all of MY trouble, now they are calling and KISSING HIS BUTT! What about my butt? My butt needs some kissing. I know my car is under warranty, but I want some retribution or at least some major brown nosing. Why does he get it all? Don't you kill more flies with honey? Or do you only kill more flies if you are a man?

Grant bought a new truck with me (see previous post). I did all the negotiating and they had to get the manager to come over because I wasn't going for what the salesman was saying. He walks over and shakes GRANT'S hand and doesn't even shake mine or say hello! I should have walked out, but I was nice and ultimately got what I wanted. But, talk about rude. To make it up, I inisisted on being first on the loan documents, which really screwed up their blue and pink color coding system. Hah! The finance guy had to keep printing out new contracts. Take that!!!!

Now, I am no car expert, but I do expect the same type of treatment as a man, especially when it comes to financing and simple things like taking your car in for repairs. Is that too much to ask? Apparently for the morons over at Mossey Nissan and Bob Baker it is.

The right to bare boobs

When I worked in law enforcement, I once went on a ride along with a deputy through a crime-ridden part of the city. While driving along I noticed a naked man standing in his front yard. I giggled and told the deputy, "Hey, we just drove past a stark naked dude standing in his front yard." I quickly learned this was not as funny as I had thought. "Naked people are usually 51-50s." Hhmmm... I had stumbled across some excitement! When we drove up to naked man, he ran around the front yard and then ran into his house. We called for backup. It took 4 officers to get him to put some clothes on and to come out of his house. He had been living in there with only a mattress and some stuffed animals. Apparently the city had bought him the home as part of some type of rehabilitation program.

Is public nudity truly a sign of insanity? In yesterday's weird news, Sweedish woman can no longer bare their breasts on public beaches. The proponent for this new law stated that "There is a great difference between how people in general perceive men's and women's bodies. It is therefore hard to maintain that [the topless women] were in a comparable situation to men who bathed with naked upper bodies." Now, I think this statement has to do more with sexual perceptions than mentally ill ones, but I still find it interesting how we attach certain assumptions to people's naked bodies.

Personally, I don't understand the big deal about boobs. When I was in Europe, I sunbathed topless and discovered that while it was exhilarating to address the American "taboo" of bearing my boobs in public, it really wasn't for me after all. Some weird fat harry Italian in a speedo kept walking by my friends and I and it creeped me out. But if others are comfortable with bearing their boobs, than I say, so be it!

There is a nude beach in San Diego, but it is always old men with narely back hair and fat women with saggy boobs who lay out on that beach. I saw it once and will never be the same.

While baring boobs is no big deal to me, I do have to say that I am in the camp that believes that complete public nudity is pretty odd. I came across an article a couple of weeks ago (I'll paste it below) about a former city council member who now lives in a nudist colony. Why would he want to be in the newspaper for that? How is living naked an accomplishment or something you'd want to publicize? Would you really want your mother knowing that you sit your bare butt down on the same furniture where other people's bare butts were sitting before? Think about the germs! I find it interesting too that his biggest accomplishment was building a skate park. I wonder if he had dreams of skating naked? Ouch, that would hurt. So would snowboarding naked. That would burn...

This got me thinking back to that day in the patrol car. If there is a colony of naked people, is that the same thing as being in an insane asylum?




By Lisa Petrillo
UNION-TRIBUNE STAFF WRITER

November 16, 2007

Jay Goldby, a former Poway councilman and ex-president of that city's Chamber of Commerce, usually greets his visitors completely naked.
“I've gone through some changes since I left,” said Goldby, who quit politics in 2004 after serving two terms on the Poway City Council.



EDUARDO CONTRERAS / Union-Tribune
Former Poway City Councilman Jay Goldby is now general manager of Sun Island Resort, which calls itself "Southern California's Premier Clothing-Free Resort."
The most obvious change would be Goldby's lack of clothing.

Despite the sometimes blistering heat, Goldby, 67, the father of five, even skips shoes these days as he pads blissfully barefoot around the East County nudist colony he now manages.

On a recent sunny morning, he greeted another unclothed resident, who asked if he had been to the gym. Goldby, who underwent heart bypass surgery last spring, admitted he hadn't but probably didn't need to. There are no secrets about things like getting regular workouts around Sun Island Resort.

The resort sits behind formidable fences in the rocky hills outside El Cajon. It bills itself as “Southern California's Premier Clothing-Free Resort,” and as a family-friendly destination.

Goldby loves his new life here, he said. “When you're not wearing any clothes, there is no pretense.”

That's perhaps a surprising view considering Goldby's background: Army veteran, former deacon and pro-business councilman from a city with a voter base nearly 80 percent Republican.

Goldby, who lives with his wife in Carlsbad, said he has little contact with Poway these days. Still, during last month's wildfires, he got a chance to exercise the leadership skills he honed as an elected official there.



AdvertisementSun Island was rebuilt after suffering severe damage in the October 2003 fires. This time, the nudists were prepared.
Goldby said a dozen residents defied evacuation orders and ran 24-hour fire-watch patrols in case there were flying embers. They disconnected natural gas lines, stationed 55-gallon drums filled with water near all the structures, brought in industrial-strength hoses and generators, and got aggressive with whacking weeds. The wildfires did not threaten the resort.

“We got through safely,” Goldby said.

But it was one of the few times residents at the ranch remained fully clothed.

“Embers burn skin, you know,” he said.

Goldby remains vague about when he became a nudist, though he allows that he may have spent time at the colony before leaving Poway. Although no longer a registered Republican, he said he remains a businessman and is proud of the improvements he has brought to the resort, once considered a counterculture haven.

Poway leaders recall him as popular with the business community, which in the early 1990s criticized the council as being anti-growth and anti-business.

At the time, Goldby owned a sign-making business in town, which he sold after a divorce in 2001. He was part of a political makeover of the once staunchly slow-growth council, one of several business advocates who won council seats, including current Councilman Don Higginson and Mickey Cafagna, a developer who is now mayor.

But Goldby was not just about business. He took a special interest in seniors, teens and substance-abuse prevention. Goldby described his tenure as that of a political maverick, often the swing vote and on some issues the lone vote.

In December 2003, Goldby married Sherrie Anne Bagley, then the executive director of the Poway Senior Center. The following month, he announced he would not seek a third four-year council term because he planned to pursue other projects involving public works and substance-abuse prevention. In January 2005, after accusations of financial mismanagement, Sherrie Goldby was placed on administrative leave and then asked to resign from the senior center.

Goldby said one of the accomplishments he is most proud of in Poway is helping to create the city's innovative Skate Park, one of the few municipal skate parks in the county that is free.

His biggest disappointment was failing to persuade the council to invest more in services for senior citizens.

Knocked up and thinking of New Years

Last night I watched the movie "Knocked Up." My husband, who is an avid hater of "chick flicks," was guilted into watching the movie with me. He ended up loving it. We cracked up because there are so many parallels between the movie and what we are going through as a couple. It's a "must see" for expecting parents or people who are thinking about pregnancy.

Speaking of pregnancy, I think it's contagious. I swear, every week, someone else around me is getting pregnant! I now see pregnant people everywhere. I think there must be something in the air this year, or else I am just extra sensitive to, as Grant calls us, the "incubators" roaming around. To all my newly pregnant friends, congrats!

I have to say, I really missed surfing this weekend. It poured on Friday and though I know you're not supposed to surf in the rain (run off and pollution), I used to LOVE to paddle out in the rain. When I went to UCSB I used to always surf in the rain. It was so exhilarating. It's also when you see a lot of marine life, like dolphins. I can't wait to get back out in the water. I also can't wait until I can get to the slopes. Maybe if it's a late ski season I'll try to get to Mammoth in April. I wonder if babies can handle the altitude and cold? I have so much to learn!

Anyone have any New Years suggestions for a knocked up lady and a wonderful, but old-for-his-age husband? I'd like to do something fun this year... thinking about going on Horblower... anyone have any suggestions?

To toke or not to toke, that is the question

Marijuana...pot...mary jane... bud...the sweet stuff...joint...reefer

Whatever you call it, most people have smoked it or eaten it or at least know someone who has. As a public speaking teacher, each semester I get to hear at least one student make a passionate argument for the legalization of marijuana. Sometimes these arguments are well-researched and convincing, other times they are based solely on the fact that the student would love to smoke as much pot as possible and thinks a good way to start making that happen is to persuade other 18 year olds that marijuana is the best thing that could ever happen to you.

This morning I heard perhaps the most creative speech on marijuana use. Though it was totally devoid of any useful new information, its creativity and the fact that the student is a spitting image of Spicoli (I mean, this guy could be his double in looks, attitude and even voice) made this speech a true winner.

First off, he started by quoting Abraham Lincoln, which drew a laugh from the class, because this was the last student you would think would be quoting anyone other than Bob Marley. This was his quote: "The greatest service which can be rendered any country is to add a useful plant to its culture." According to Spicolo Jr., this useful plant must have been..... marijuana! After all, ol' Abe was a great dude and always looked pretty cool and laid back in all those old paintings and stuff. And we all know he did great things for the country, so what better than to legalize the most useful plant ever?

Besides learning that Abraham Lincoln was the forefather of the legalization of marijuana, I also learned that marijuana never kills anyone. In fact, "you may feel like you're dead, but 10 minutes later, you get up and realize that you are just hungry." I have to admit, I cracked up throughout this speech. His other arguments included that smoking pot helps you with homework and helps you relax and that wouldn't we all rather be around stoners than drunks.

So, did he get an "A"? Well, unfortunately, the lack of any substantial evidence negated his exceptional reasoning skills and humor. But, it was a valiant effort and would have earned him a trip to the graduation dance and a special pass from Mr. H.

Sacrifices

Beth said something funny to me the other day. I was talking about not being able to surf and she asked about going on roller coasters. I told her I couldn't do that either. What about grandma's spa? She asked. Nope, no spa either. Well, she told me, you're missing out on everything fun! Ha, isn't that true!

I would have loved to have a glass of wine the other day after I got my pedicure and my hair cut...and I'd love to eat a turkey sandwich without having to nuke the heck out of the turkey! But, in the grand scheme of life, the small sacrifices I'm making to have a healthy pregnancy.

Last night Grant made a sacrifice too! He sold his beloved mustang (and my 5 year old truck) to buy a nice, big, safe truck that will fit a baby seat and pull around his dirt bike trailer. I know that deep down he's pretty bummed to part with his "dream car." I'm definitely relieved! It was pointless to have 3 cars, one of which sat in the garage most of the time. However, to him, this car represented freedom, masculinity, and all that weird man crap. So, I'm very proud of him for making the big sacrifice!

MySpace is for idiots and blogs are for nerds

This is what my husband told me yesterday. So, what does that say about him, that he's married to an idiotic nerd!

I am a nerd, though I have always felt that I have been a rather balanced nerd! :) I did date the homecoming prince in high school, though being on the speech and debate team I think that I brought down his popularity factor much more than he brought mine up! I was one of the only girl surfers in my high school too, though I quickly learned that boy surfers would much rather date someone who lays on the beach and looks good than is out there in the lineup. Beauty over brawn, right?

Apparently, I am still a 30 year old nerd. I love to read, I like to write, I get upset when my students do shitty on their assignments, I play bunko, I swing dance, and I still like to listen to They Might Be Giants. On the flip side, I have great hair (i should after 140 dollar cuts), still surf (well, not since I've been 3 months pregnant), and am married to a manly man non-nerd type (though, believe me, he does have his nerdy moments, though being a nerd does not suit him as well as it does me!).

So, not to get too Revenge of the Nerds on you, I've come to realize that nerds tend to be more interesting, more successful, and a lot more fun to hang out with!

I'm not going to begin to discuss the idiot part of the title of this blog. He got in trouble for that one. :)

Closed ears, closed minds?

This morning I have had another example of how most people in this world don't listen! I am one of the blessed few who have not had any negative pregnancy symptoms. I haven't been sick, I haven't had too many weird aches and pains, etc. Despite this, people are constantly asking me how I feel and asking in a tone of voice that implies that they know, I must be feeling so bad and they are so sorry for me. The funny thing is that these people who are asking me are people who have been asking me for the past 3 months. And every time I say, I feel great, no complaints.

This morning a coworker stopped by and our conversation went something like this:

"Hi Cheryl, how are you feeling?"
"I feel great, thanks. No complaints."
"Oh, that's too bad. Well, I hope you feel better soon."

Um, hello? I feel GREAT! What could be better than great? How many times do I have to tell this lady that I feel good and that my pregnancy is easy? Why does she insist on implying that I feel bad? I guess she's just not listening.

Did you know that we spend more of our life listening than we do reading, writing or speaking? So, why are people so bad at it?

I'm not immune from bad listening. I regularly find myself tuning people out, but I'm making more of an effort to tell myself, "Cheryl, stop thinking about how good a frappucino would taste right now or that you just noticed that the polish on your right big toe has chipped. Listen!" I guess that's making listening progress! Or, perhaps we're really not supposed to listen to social niceties. Maybe it's more important to ask the question than it is to listen to the answer.

Today I was inspired by an old high-school friend to create my very own blog. Being in marketing and teaching at a college, I write and read all day and have shied away from one more task that requires a keyboard. However, being pragmatic, I can see that there may be several benefits from blogging that may just outweigh the risk that keeping this blog will further contribute to the likelihood that I will have carpal tunnel by the time I'm 40.

I'm not quite sure what purpose this blog will serve for those reading it, though for me, it may end up being a catharsis--I do have quite a lot of emotions to purge, especially being pregnant. Perhaps keeping a blog would have prevented my breakdown last week after learning that the car I wanted to test drive had sold. I've always heard pregnant women are hormonal, but now that I am one, I can testify that that is indeed a fact. Not only have I cried on several occasions over the past month, but I have also been completely unable to keep away from my daughter's Halloween candy. Case in point, today at lunch, I had five pieces. I kept telling myself to stop, but I just couldn't. The cool part of this little pig out is that the baby really likes it when I eat sugar; he kicks and squirms for a bit, so I think he's enjoying the sugar high. Unfortunately, this sugar has no positive nutritional benefit for me or Dylan. When I wasn't pregnant, I would have been able to tell myself to stop, step away from the candy bowl and think rationally about the input/output of caloric intake. But, now that I mostly consist of hormones, I can't seem to convince myself that eating chocolate until I feel sick is not good idea.

Besides providing me with an outlet, I'm hoping that eventually this maybe this a fun way to keep in touch with some friends and family. I am getting tired of myspace and tired of my myspace site being hacked into. I don't want to send out anymore porn to my friends and family. And I'd like a less superficial way to keep in touch with those people who actually care what's going on in my life. I have some friends I haven't talked to for over a year.

Negatives to blogging? Well, I guess i could have random strangers reading my blog, though I have thousands of random strangers reading what I write every week. (Isn't it amazing how some newspapers never change a word of a press release?) I could reveal too much and that could come back to haunt me... so I'll have to be careful about that. I could also get caught blogging at work, though I don't see how that is any different that sending e-mails and I don't think anyone would really care. All in the name of creativity!

Anyway, it looks like for now I'll give this blog thing a try, though I'll probably only invite a select few friends to read it. You'll have to help me decide if I should blog or not and whether this is an exercise in futility or a worthwhile expenditure of my time.