To toke or not to toke, that is the question

Marijuana...pot...mary jane... bud...the sweet stuff...joint...reefer

Whatever you call it, most people have smoked it or eaten it or at least know someone who has. As a public speaking teacher, each semester I get to hear at least one student make a passionate argument for the legalization of marijuana. Sometimes these arguments are well-researched and convincing, other times they are based solely on the fact that the student would love to smoke as much pot as possible and thinks a good way to start making that happen is to persuade other 18 year olds that marijuana is the best thing that could ever happen to you.

This morning I heard perhaps the most creative speech on marijuana use. Though it was totally devoid of any useful new information, its creativity and the fact that the student is a spitting image of Spicoli (I mean, this guy could be his double in looks, attitude and even voice) made this speech a true winner.

First off, he started by quoting Abraham Lincoln, which drew a laugh from the class, because this was the last student you would think would be quoting anyone other than Bob Marley. This was his quote: "The greatest service which can be rendered any country is to add a useful plant to its culture." According to Spicolo Jr., this useful plant must have been..... marijuana! After all, ol' Abe was a great dude and always looked pretty cool and laid back in all those old paintings and stuff. And we all know he did great things for the country, so what better than to legalize the most useful plant ever?

Besides learning that Abraham Lincoln was the forefather of the legalization of marijuana, I also learned that marijuana never kills anyone. In fact, "you may feel like you're dead, but 10 minutes later, you get up and realize that you are just hungry." I have to admit, I cracked up throughout this speech. His other arguments included that smoking pot helps you with homework and helps you relax and that wouldn't we all rather be around stoners than drunks.

So, did he get an "A"? Well, unfortunately, the lack of any substantial evidence negated his exceptional reasoning skills and humor. But, it was a valiant effort and would have earned him a trip to the graduation dance and a special pass from Mr. H.